Sunday, May 07, 2006

no me gusta termites

so my morning started out well. sunny day, early start, i was happy.
after checking email and such, i decided to head out to the garden and read an article my yoga friend somjen asked me to look at. it's about homophobic violence.

i got out in the sun, started reading and was feeling great. jes came out to meet me. my landlady kristin came out and chatted and even gave us these delish apple strudel things from their party last night. after that jes and i went in to have some food and i retired to the bedroom/office to continue reading. my reading was interrupted by jes's yelling "aaaahhhh they are taking over!" i went out into the living to find termites swarming the living room floor and many were climbing on our couch. for the next two hours jes and i tried to kill these motherfuckers. i got out the windex and sprayed them all until they were dead. more kept coming. i had kristin come down and look at them and she squealed with us as we found more and more crawling around the room. jes and i decided to soak paper towels in windex and shove them in the gaps in the floorboards where the fuckers were coming in over and over. they subsided for a minute while we moved everything away from the wall and i wiped up all the windex drowned dead termite carcasses (luckily that funk got mixed in with a few furballs from the cats). nice. all the while the cats are locked in our room MEOWING to get out.

kristin said she had a friend coming at 2pm and he is sort of handy so maybe he could suggest something. it was about 12:30pm. thirty minutes later the swarms are still coming and jes is not studying one bit b/c she is spraying and wiping along with me. so i get online and find out that old school borax soap keeps them away. so i headed to the store and got some borax and some spray bottles. got home and the swarms were still coming. by this time jes is laughing about it. we move her grandfathers antique cherry kitchen table that he had made for him into the second bedroom just in case these fucking termites get some bright ideas. we also moved the carpet (also started to get swarmed with termites) into this closet off the garden.

next up: operation borax. while i spray the swarms and they start to drown and die, jes prepares a borax paste to squirt into the gap (after removing the windex soaked paper towels). we sit back and laugh/cry and wait. guess what? borax doesn't really help. though at a slower pace, the termites keep coming in and now they are jaunting down the hallway toward the bedroom full of meowing cats.

by this time i am quite veklemt about it all and jes has showered and is getting ready to go to the coffee shop. i decided to join her b/c if i stayed at home i would just continue to freak out. so here i am. no termites, just twelve million people doing work like me. i am going to finish reading that article and then if i have time, do a little more data analysis for the diss. then i think we are going to have a bbq in our backyard. hopefully the termites will not have tied up the cats gullivers travels style and carted them off to the basement for sacrifice. i am pretty sure horace would put the smackdown on their ass while emily pummeled them with her ovenmitt paws.

i took some pics of the infestation and will post them when i get back. they are disgusting.

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