dj & theo's treatise on the l word
***WARNING... I WILL BE REFERENCING HAPPENINGS ALL THROUGH THE SECOND SEASON. IF YOU DON'T WANT IT SPOILED, DON'T READ THIS UNTIL YOU ARE DONE WATCHING ALL OF BOTH SEASONS***
ok even though i feel exhausted i think in part to the white bumps on my left tonsil, i can not sleep. the problem is that i fell asleep on the couch while jes played video games at about 9:30pm and once i got up around 10pm to go and lay in the bed, i was ruined. so here i sit, on the white couch, watching my new favorite show: the bridge. its this show of old school hip hop songs. tonight is all native tongues. so like right now its tribe called quest "check the rhyme." they played a few de la soul songs and a real old school queen latifah. basically if i could create an old school rap video show these are the EXACT videos i would choose. so i am close to heaven as one with insomnia and perhaps strep throat could be.
ok onto more modern and lesbo things: the l word
let me first introduce my co-commentator, theo, the wonder dog (he belongs to my friend sandy):
he has agreed to contribute commentary on the ladies (and mens) of the l word. so lets get started.
first of all, jes and i have officially watched all of season one and season two of the l word. this means that we are caught up. after every episode, i thought "oh i need to post about this on my blog" but really i am glad that i waited until now, b/c i feel like i have a better understanding of the show overall. i think the most organized way to go about this is to go character by character- alphabetically of course.
1. ALICE
donna: now alice is played by leisha hailey, the only out lesbo on the show. anywho alice bugged at the beginning, but she has grown on me throughout the end of the first season and the beginning of the second season. she got a little nutty there at the end of season two with her possessiveness over dana. i also didn't get why she liked the male lesbo or the other sort of creepy guy she kicked it with, but i do appreciate how she adamantly asserts her bisexuality. it's refreshing to see someone who defies the hetero/homo binary. i also really appreciate her hair and humor.
theo: i would let that lady snuggle with me any day. i bet she would get me a pretty pink sparkly collar.
2. BETTE
donna: now bette is played by jennifer "flashdance" beals. i think she is wicked hot and i appreciate her workaholic-ness. i did not appreciate how much she controlled her relationship with tina (and frankly i am still trying to figure out what she sees in tina, but that is another post). and while her affair with candace the carpenter was wicked hot to watch, no me gusta cheaters. i can also appreciate a dirty martini as much as the next person, but when she went on that whole drink like a fish and fuck like a rabbit thing, i got a little worried. i think she has cooled it by the end of season two. i also can't believe those motherfuckers fired her. i loved it when she told her boss she wanted to murder him and she called that guy she got into an accident with a little troll. i think she may need anger management classes.
theo: i am hoping she will do that dance where she drops water on herself and gets all sexy and wet. if so, i have my raincoat and i am therefore prepared.
3. CARMEN
donna: now carmen is fairly new. i think she is pretty sexy, but really needs a new hair do. i like how she is kind of spunky, sporty and femme, with a little bit of a butch edge. i don't like that she has fake boobs, but what are you going to do, this is los angeles, right? i have no idea why she wasted one minute getting peed on and/or dating jenny when it was so OBVIOUS she was HOT for shane. i like them (shane and carmen) together, they have good chemistry. yes, i know its all fake, but please indulge me.
theo: i like to dance to carmen's sick beats and i appreciate that they are beginning to attempt to represent the racial diversity of the lesbian community in los angeles.
4. DANA
donna: let me say first i have no idea what they are trying to do with dana's hair here. i mean where is her cute ponytail. dana reminds me of my first real gfriend jackie who played basketball at university of illinois except jackie was taller and less anorexic. dana's wishy washiness bugs me, but i really liked her with that chef who was adorable and i like her with alice. i think that tonya was the worst thing ever and i thank babyjesus for melissa rivers (is she a homo?) i was also a bit floored they showed dana in a harness (of course they DID NOT show her in a harness with a strap on), but whatever, baby steps, i guess.
theo: i would chase dana's tennis balls any time of the day. delish.
5. HELENA
donna: now helena is also fairly new and in a word: fucking irritating. oops, that's two words. look i understand the function of helena (she is the thorn in bette's ass and the face between tina's legs) but really does she need to hang around.l i am ready for her to leave. i mean she's pretty and all and has a nice accent, but i want her to go back to new york and ruin some ladies in that town. and what up with the weird pregnant lady fetish. creepy.
theo: she said it: hot but creepy.
6. JENNY (aka "fucknut")
donna: now if you have read previous posts, you know that i don't care for jenny. she was absolutely HORRID in the first season. i mean i had to cover my eyes during 40% of the scenes with her b/c she just made me cringe. i mean the eye makeup, the manatees, and who could forget the carnivale? i felt like she was getting it together in the second season until we find her cutting herself in the bathroom. once i saw that happen though i felt almost...guilty. it was then that it became clear to me that all that shit in the first season and part of the second was ilene chaiken's manifestation of jenny's "crazies." now i have known the crazies, so i don't want to judge jenny for them. i just thought she was an attention seeking drama queen (which i still think she is) but clearly its more about her struggling with some serious shit. now don't worry, i am not going soft and becoming some sort of jennylover. that will never happen. but i do have to say that by the end of season two, i understand jenny a little bit more. and i really appreciated how direct and unflinching she was with that prick mark. even if it was only for like two days.
theo: i think jenny is a certifiable wingnut, but she has some good fashion. jenny, do you want to borrow my coat girl?
7. KIT
donna: really i don't have a lot to say about kit. i like her hair curly more than straight. i appreciate how she supports bette and all the other lesbos that come to the planet and i don't really understand what she wanted from ivan the drag king (but did you see his abs when he was out of drag? hello...)
theo: i like when she said "who dat" in one of the episodes.
8. MARK
donna: so yeah mark is the prick pervert who videotaped the lesbians doing it and has a (not so) secret boy-boy crush on shane. he is now the person i like the least on the show. i think it is ridiculous that they are suggesting he went from completely violating all these ladies to totally understanding how wrong that is. i mean why did he think it was a good idea to take off all his clothes off as a way to "apologize" to jenny, who clearly is a survivor of sexual assault? like helena, i hope he goes away very very soon. i hate him more than jenny. there you have it.
theo: and his new haircut looks dumb.
9. SHANE
donna: now i think shane is way too skinny but ridiculously hot. i think its mostly b/c she reminds me of my girlfriend jodie foster. i think its also partly that i want to be shane as much as i want to be with shane. don't get me wrong, i don't want to be a feelingless womanizer, but i wouldn't mind just oozing sexy like shane does, or looking that cute in a tie. but she really really needs to eat AND i am worrying about her hairdo. as a hair dresser i feel like it should look better. i want her to stay with carmen. i am sure she won't. i also HATE that shane is best friends forever with mark even though he treated her like crap. i find this incredibly frustrating.
theo: and she needs to stop doing the drugs girl, that shit will kill you!
10. TINA
donna: now tina, for the most part, bugs me. i hate how she purses her lips in that way she does. i also think she is way too dramatic. but what i like about her, is how she has grown a backbone over the second season AND that she is super pregnant and still sexually active, that is just something you never really see. did anyone else notice that after she gave birth to the kid they said "her pressure is dropping"? do you think they are going to kill her off? and leave bette with baby angelica (no me gusta that name either). inquiring minds want to know.
theo: i don't care how cute that stupid angelica is, I AM THE BABY
and that concludes our first installment of lword commentary. it is now after 1am and i am still not sleepy. oh the humanity!
ok even though i feel exhausted i think in part to the white bumps on my left tonsil, i can not sleep. the problem is that i fell asleep on the couch while jes played video games at about 9:30pm and once i got up around 10pm to go and lay in the bed, i was ruined. so here i sit, on the white couch, watching my new favorite show: the bridge. its this show of old school hip hop songs. tonight is all native tongues. so like right now its tribe called quest "check the rhyme." they played a few de la soul songs and a real old school queen latifah. basically if i could create an old school rap video show these are the EXACT videos i would choose. so i am close to heaven as one with insomnia and perhaps strep throat could be.
ok onto more modern and lesbo things: the l word
let me first introduce my co-commentator, theo, the wonder dog (he belongs to my friend sandy):
he has agreed to contribute commentary on the ladies (and mens) of the l word. so lets get started.
first of all, jes and i have officially watched all of season one and season two of the l word. this means that we are caught up. after every episode, i thought "oh i need to post about this on my blog" but really i am glad that i waited until now, b/c i feel like i have a better understanding of the show overall. i think the most organized way to go about this is to go character by character- alphabetically of course.
1. ALICE
donna: now alice is played by leisha hailey, the only out lesbo on the show. anywho alice bugged at the beginning, but she has grown on me throughout the end of the first season and the beginning of the second season. she got a little nutty there at the end of season two with her possessiveness over dana. i also didn't get why she liked the male lesbo or the other sort of creepy guy she kicked it with, but i do appreciate how she adamantly asserts her bisexuality. it's refreshing to see someone who defies the hetero/homo binary. i also really appreciate her hair and humor.
theo: i would let that lady snuggle with me any day. i bet she would get me a pretty pink sparkly collar.
2. BETTE
donna: now bette is played by jennifer "flashdance" beals. i think she is wicked hot and i appreciate her workaholic-ness. i did not appreciate how much she controlled her relationship with tina (and frankly i am still trying to figure out what she sees in tina, but that is another post). and while her affair with candace the carpenter was wicked hot to watch, no me gusta cheaters. i can also appreciate a dirty martini as much as the next person, but when she went on that whole drink like a fish and fuck like a rabbit thing, i got a little worried. i think she has cooled it by the end of season two. i also can't believe those motherfuckers fired her. i loved it when she told her boss she wanted to murder him and she called that guy she got into an accident with a little troll. i think she may need anger management classes.
theo: i am hoping she will do that dance where she drops water on herself and gets all sexy and wet. if so, i have my raincoat and i am therefore prepared.
3. CARMEN
donna: now carmen is fairly new. i think she is pretty sexy, but really needs a new hair do. i like how she is kind of spunky, sporty and femme, with a little bit of a butch edge. i don't like that she has fake boobs, but what are you going to do, this is los angeles, right? i have no idea why she wasted one minute getting peed on and/or dating jenny when it was so OBVIOUS she was HOT for shane. i like them (shane and carmen) together, they have good chemistry. yes, i know its all fake, but please indulge me.
theo: i like to dance to carmen's sick beats and i appreciate that they are beginning to attempt to represent the racial diversity of the lesbian community in los angeles.
4. DANA
donna: let me say first i have no idea what they are trying to do with dana's hair here. i mean where is her cute ponytail. dana reminds me of my first real gfriend jackie who played basketball at university of illinois except jackie was taller and less anorexic. dana's wishy washiness bugs me, but i really liked her with that chef who was adorable and i like her with alice. i think that tonya was the worst thing ever and i thank babyjesus for melissa rivers (is she a homo?) i was also a bit floored they showed dana in a harness (of course they DID NOT show her in a harness with a strap on), but whatever, baby steps, i guess.
theo: i would chase dana's tennis balls any time of the day. delish.
5. HELENA
donna: now helena is also fairly new and in a word: fucking irritating. oops, that's two words. look i understand the function of helena (she is the thorn in bette's ass and the face between tina's legs) but really does she need to hang around.l i am ready for her to leave. i mean she's pretty and all and has a nice accent, but i want her to go back to new york and ruin some ladies in that town. and what up with the weird pregnant lady fetish. creepy.
theo: she said it: hot but creepy.
6. JENNY (aka "fucknut")
donna: now if you have read previous posts, you know that i don't care for jenny. she was absolutely HORRID in the first season. i mean i had to cover my eyes during 40% of the scenes with her b/c she just made me cringe. i mean the eye makeup, the manatees, and who could forget the carnivale? i felt like she was getting it together in the second season until we find her cutting herself in the bathroom. once i saw that happen though i felt almost...guilty. it was then that it became clear to me that all that shit in the first season and part of the second was ilene chaiken's manifestation of jenny's "crazies." now i have known the crazies, so i don't want to judge jenny for them. i just thought she was an attention seeking drama queen (which i still think she is) but clearly its more about her struggling with some serious shit. now don't worry, i am not going soft and becoming some sort of jennylover. that will never happen. but i do have to say that by the end of season two, i understand jenny a little bit more. and i really appreciated how direct and unflinching she was with that prick mark. even if it was only for like two days.
theo: i think jenny is a certifiable wingnut, but she has some good fashion. jenny, do you want to borrow my coat girl?
7. KIT
donna: really i don't have a lot to say about kit. i like her hair curly more than straight. i appreciate how she supports bette and all the other lesbos that come to the planet and i don't really understand what she wanted from ivan the drag king (but did you see his abs when he was out of drag? hello...)
theo: i like when she said "who dat" in one of the episodes.
8. MARK
donna: so yeah mark is the prick pervert who videotaped the lesbians doing it and has a (not so) secret boy-boy crush on shane. he is now the person i like the least on the show. i think it is ridiculous that they are suggesting he went from completely violating all these ladies to totally understanding how wrong that is. i mean why did he think it was a good idea to take off all his clothes off as a way to "apologize" to jenny, who clearly is a survivor of sexual assault? like helena, i hope he goes away very very soon. i hate him more than jenny. there you have it.
theo: and his new haircut looks dumb.
9. SHANE
donna: now i think shane is way too skinny but ridiculously hot. i think its mostly b/c she reminds me of my girlfriend jodie foster. i think its also partly that i want to be shane as much as i want to be with shane. don't get me wrong, i don't want to be a feelingless womanizer, but i wouldn't mind just oozing sexy like shane does, or looking that cute in a tie. but she really really needs to eat AND i am worrying about her hairdo. as a hair dresser i feel like it should look better. i want her to stay with carmen. i am sure she won't. i also HATE that shane is best friends forever with mark even though he treated her like crap. i find this incredibly frustrating.
theo: and she needs to stop doing the drugs girl, that shit will kill you!
10. TINA
donna: now tina, for the most part, bugs me. i hate how she purses her lips in that way she does. i also think she is way too dramatic. but what i like about her, is how she has grown a backbone over the second season AND that she is super pregnant and still sexually active, that is just something you never really see. did anyone else notice that after she gave birth to the kid they said "her pressure is dropping"? do you think they are going to kill her off? and leave bette with baby angelica (no me gusta that name either). inquiring minds want to know.
theo: i don't care how cute that stupid angelica is, I AM THE BABY
and that concludes our first installment of lword commentary. it is now after 1am and i am still not sleepy. oh the humanity!
posted by dj love at 1:11 AM
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